Full steam ahead.

Tonight, I took off my combat boots for our dance rehearsal, and with them went my courage and soul-strength. Out of nowhere, it was bam! Lauren having a meltdown. I've come close to breaking down so many times in my ballet and jazz classes, but have always been able to hold it together. I guess I was just too tired this time. I was fine, I wasn't upset or  anything, I just couldn't stop the tears from coming. I was frustrated, deep down. My perfectionist self couldn't handle the pressure of not being able to do what my sisters were telling me to do. My muscles were already sore and tired, and I was slightly grumpy to begin with. When my body can't or won't do what I am telling it to, what other people are telling it to, or what everyone else is doing, I get frustrated and want to cry. And so I did. I tried to rein myself in as best as possible, so I didn't get the chance to let myself fullout cry. Kyra talked me down, and my sisters were gracious and handled me perfectly, without jumping on me and making me cry more. I still feel like I need to just let it all out and have a good sobfest, but. For now I am layering on my Fearless tank and my 5678 top, and trying to wrap myself in my heartshields and Keltie's strength.