I'm gone in the brain.

Finding out you are in another state, makes me miss you so much more. It's like my heart knows the distance between us has grown, and that makes it hurt more. I expected us to both be in different states this summer, but at the same time. I drove two hundred miles and thought I would be closer to you, have the chance of seeing you again, and then I find out you are eight hundred miles even further away. Why did you leave?

Please, come home. It's been a week, and already I can't recall the sound of your voice, or the sound of your laugh. It's devastating.

I can't have you like you have me.

Two days until I am home means only two days that I have left here with you. That is to say, in the same city as you. To have the potential of being with you. Because right now, we certainly aren't together in the same room. These last few days have been wasted, but you are the one wasting opportunities -- not me. I have been trying. Why are you so hot and cold all the time? Why do I miss you so much? Why do we only have two days left? Why don't you seem to realize this? If my heart is a mess right now, after just a few days, I don't know what's going to happen when we both leave. I don't even know if I want to say goodbye in person, anymore. It will either be awkward or too hard. Or both.

I've got a love that keeps me waiting.

Sometimes, when the distance starts to grow and I've spent too much time thinking and not enough time actually with you, I wonder how I got to this point. I can't figure it out. How did my heart get so gone? How did I end up so painfully, unbearably in love with this girl? It feels like it just happened. It feels like I've been stuck in the middle of this mess of feelings forever. I don't remember how it started. I can't wrap my brain around the way that I feel. Why did this happen?

This is how I feel. I am dancing around my room and singing this song to you and offering you everything I have to give. It's fine by me if you never leave. And we can lay like this forever, it's fine by me. Because if I gave you my heart, you would stay forever, right? I think you would. We don't have to be confused anymore. We can just be together.

And we'll be lovers, lovers at last.

Whenever I am awake early in the morning, I think of you still sleeping. And I wish I was there to see how peaceful you look in your sleep, to see how your eyelashes look drooped against your pale skin, to climb into bed next to you and hold you. Why does your bed have to be so far away from mine?

I am going to ignore last night's dream. It is not one I want to write down to remember. I am not going to accept it as a warning from the universe. That is the one thing I am not willing to listen to.