Like it never happened and we were nothing.

Even when I was in the thick of it, of being in love with you, for some reason this song spoke to me -- maybe the passion of it -- and I would  be in my room screaming the words at the top of my lungs, to you. Singing to you out my window. But it isn't a song for someone in love and deeply hopeful. I put it on your playlist anyways. The playlist I made for my heart, when it was in love with you.

Now, eight or nine months later, after making my heart let go, this song finally makes sense. I was listening to your playlist last night and it took me right back, but this song is how my heart feels now. It feels like you don't exist anymore, like there is nothing left in that space where my hope for us used to exist. Like I imagined all of it, every little moment.

I have no idea what is going to happen, when we are both back at school together. When I am in your vicinity again. I hope my heart will be strong enough.