January First, 2013

I am sitting listening to The Blues by Switchfoot, as I do every single January 1st, and am so impossibly grateful for the year I've had. And while the new year is frightening, and my life is about to change entirely, I do have hope. And I know that if it gets too hard, I will always be surrounded by the best family a girl could ask for, and that every single one of my beautiful sisters are there for me. This year -- at least for the first part of it -- I am going to focus on rebalancing myself and finding my center and becoming stronger. I gave so much love this year, and now I need to take some time to myself to figure out my future and get my heart back to full capacity so that I will be ready the next time the universe puts someone in front of me who I decide to give a piece of my heart.

My last few days of 2012 were beautifully full, spent reunited with my little, and so I did not have time to sit down and ponder and reflect and mourn the end of the year, or try too hard to come up with my song for 2013. But in return, I got a wonderful New Years Eve and four sister kisses at midnight. And then while roadtripping home with two of my bests today, I intended to put my iPod on shuffle to see what came up first, to try and come up with a song for 2013. But the moment I turned it on, the song was already there. It was there all along these past three days. And it is perfect.

 

So positive and filled with hope, because anything could happen and I know it will, I know this year will take me by surprise. But at the same time I am moving on and letting go, because I don't think I need you. It's been a long year, and now it's over.