is this the new year?

I still need to come up with a song for 2011. This year's was "Be OK" by Ingrid Michaelson, but I have much higher hopes for myself for 2011 than just trying to get through every day and be okay. I'm thinking something magical and new along the lines of "Enchanted". I need suggestions.

we both know we're only here at this beach for the day

my new year's resolutions, continued:

- meet Ben Liebsch again (for the fourth time), and have a real conversation with him
- get invited to a T-Party and meet Taylor, crying my eyes out while doing so
- meet Christina Perri (since my chance was taken from me this month)
- meet Keltie Colleen, and then die happy.

resolutions

the beginning of the list --

this year, I want

- to find love & open my heart to it

- to give more love than I get, to pour as much love as I can into the universe

- to smile every day

- to take everything with a grain of salt, and never give anything more weight than it deserves

and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

Ending the year exactly the way I began it. Going back to this song, and being unexpectedly (and for no reason whatsoever) haunted by the same damn boy. Ugh. (Actually, that stupid boy stuff was two years ago, wow, but. Nevertheless. It's taking me longer than I thought, I guess.)

 This year, I made it to June (I think) without having to listen to Parting Gift on repeat and cry my eyes out, so I'd consider it a pretty successful year. There was only one small, dark patch there in the middle of the summer, but going back to school knocked me right out of that yucky disgusting blah funk.

This year, I painted my room (again), switching from dark red to light blue, and I feel like it really represents who I am right now, who I have worked so hard to become. I am not nearly as angry and bitter as I once was. There are still frustrating things that I deal with in my head, but I am working on it. I have very high hopes for 2011. I can't believe it's been a year; it feels like New Year's Eve, with my poor best friend feeling miserable on my couch all night, was just yesterday. Not almost 365 yesterdays ago.

I think I messed it up;

if i only knew how to stay

There is a reason this girl is my biggest hero in the entire world. After four years, I didn't think it was possible for me to love her more. I was wrong. Apparently, it is possible.

words to think about

"In the absence of true love and true joy, maybe it's best to treat happiness like any other need -- hunger, exhaustion, thirst -- factually recognized, functionally resolved."
-Hilary Thayer Hamann