A Girl and Her Tree

The girl was not looking for anything when she found her tree. She was not looking because she was already in the woods and thought that was where she was supposed to be. And when are we ever actively looking for it when we finally get something? We are not. Because we can’t know what we need, until it is already there.

And so, the girl found herself unawares when the tree appeared in front of her suddenly, as though by chance. But what the universe has in store for us is never by chance. The tree appeared in front of her, and she found what she didn’t even know she needed. What she didn’t even know she was waiting for.

The girl wound herself around the roots of the tree, and in return the tree sheltered her. Its leaves covered her and its branches protected her, keeping the demons at bay. And it was in this way that they grew together, each one strengthened by the presence of the other.

When the winds of a hurricane try to rip the tree from the ground, it is the girl that binds it to the earth. And when it storms, the leaves of the tree keep the raindrops from falling on the girl’s head but let only the sunlight through to reach her and warm her skin. Because they love each other.

And the girl is happy.

So as we all know the universe works in crazy, magical, inexplicable ways and gives us things not necessarily in the exact moment we ask for them, but instead when we least expect it and only when we are truly ready to be given what we want. Because the universe knows what is best for us, even when we don't know what is best for ourselves.

For the last few years, I thought I was ready to be given someone to love, someone who would love back, so much so that there were times where I was all but staring out into the universe and screaming, where is my person and why am I still alone? Every time I noticed how much I had grown, how much stronger and happier with myself I felt, I wondered why I had not yet earned love. Did I not deserve it? Was I being made to wait forever? I didn't understand it, but I was still hopeful with the knowledge that something would have to happen one day.

In the last year, I finally gave up on waiting around. Instead of focusing on the loneliness, I turned my focus fully and intentionally elsewhere. I wanted to be able to focus on my work and my plans for the future and my career, to be able to travel at will without any strings tying me to one specific place, to worry about no one other than myself. To continue enjoying the independence while it lasts.

And so of course, this is when the universe decided, in a magic little twist of fate so quick I could have blinked and missed it, to put someone in front of me. I never saw it coming. Even meeting and talking for a few brief moments could never have prepared me for what we would become. And how suddenly it would happen. We didn't even know each other's names. And now, we have this. Now we have so much.

I don't think I will ever understand it.