i'm not your princess (not yet at least)

i am at this stage in my life where i have a fairytale, happily ever after complex. books and people keep telling me that none of it's true, but i don't care. i want to believe and have this hope, at least for now. i want a white wedding and i want to wear a beautiful princess dress and marry the man of my dreams. i want a white house with blue shutters and a wide wraparound porch with swings to sit and watch the sun go down and wave at the people who walk by. i want my home to be small and warm and always filled with family and love. i want a big backyard and a beagle puppy to run around in it.

i don't need all of this, or any of this, right now. i am fine with waiting for all my dreams to come true in the future. if i wait, they will be better. everything will be better later. i don't much mind the not-knowing part, either. as long as it happens eventually, while my soul is still unburdened and i can still dream big dreams.

9/24/09

Sometimes you just have to accept it and let yourself get rained on.

This morning I got to appreciate the sun, but now I just have to accept that the rain is going to be part of my day, too.

the only living boy in new york

"Good luck exploring the infinite abyss."

- Garden State

i'm damaged, bad at best

I am so proud of this girl, for being a genuine person and a real girl and for being fearless. She was stunning last night, and incredibly graceful about everything that happened. Even after all the terrible things that happened, her performance was still full out.

I am also proud of my girl, Miss Keltie. Everything came full circle to see her dancing again up there, in her own city and this time, for her own heart, and no one else's. Rewatching this performance just now gave me chills.

i thought today was going to be an off day, but i was wrong. the good moments outweighed the bad ones. you know those days where all the bad things just keep adding up until the whole day is sucky? today was the opposite, and it was great. cranberry&lime cocktails and polaroids and sequins and feathers and photobooths and black&white film and, most importantly, friends. this morning i was zoned out and spacey, but tonight i lived fast & full out. overall, it was a successful day.

the psychology of life

I am a better person today than I was yesterday, and I will be a better person tomorrow than I am right now. Everything I learn today will be applied tomorrow. The limit doesn't matter. What matters is how you keep trying to be better than the person you were. Personal growth is always constant. You can always find a new way to challenge yourself. My strongest belief is tomorrow.

but i just haven't met you yet

I love Michael Bublé so fricking much. I could live inside his voice. Every Christmas, my family gives me a new cd of his; I am putting this one on my list for this year. Also, apparently today is his birthday? So there's that.

from the inside out you've changed, girl

have you ever had a song that was YOURS for the longest time, and then you forget about it for probably a year or more, and then find it again? it is the greatest feeling ever. this is my song. it used to be my ringtone and everything. i've still listened to ben kweller, just, through all the switching iPods and losing my iTunes library multiple times, i lost this particular song somewhere along the way. and just found it again, out of the blue.