I've missed you but I haven't met you.

If I could, I would stop all of my clocks to the moment I met you. And live in that night forever. I remember it so clearly. I already knew your name but not your face, and then I was finally able to connect the two. And we talked about dance. We had danced in the same show -- twice maybe -- without ever knowing each other. I wish I could go back in time and watch it all over again, now that I know you. Because I love to watch you dance. And we could've flitted around backstage together and pressed sticky eyelashes onto each other's eyelids. I would have checked your lipstick for you. I would have told you you looked beautiful.

I just got the mantra cuff I bought for someone special (you, obviously) in the mail today. I can't wait to give it to you. My stomach tightens at the thought of you wearing it. Of us matching, being bound together. I want you to feel the same strength it gives me. I hope you wear it. Even just once in a while. Seeing it on your wrist would make me feel better about this, about everything. I only share this bracelet, this part of myself, with very special people. And I've decided to share it with you. I choose you.

My manifest song for 2012 was To Whom It May Concern, and I only had to wait one month to find something that I had been missing. I am so lucky. I feel blessed.

Something in the way she moves.

Right now, at this exact moment of my life, my heart keeps beating because of you. The earth keeps spinning, so that I may love you. The way this is happening, so perfectly and so fast, has to be the stars or the universe's work. I could've never dreamed of feeling this way, and I certainly cannot control it now. I never could've imagined finding a puzzle piece I had been missing that fits so seamlessly into me the way that you do. Everything I am feeling feels so much bigger than me. Bigger than my soul and heart can contain. You light me up, and I am certain anyone can tell by the way my eyes look at you. And I don't even care if everyone knows. But the question that has been itching under my skin is -- do you know?

Are we still rolling?

Why is it that, even though I finally got what I wanted, it feels bittersweet? My heart is only half-filled. I should have fought harder, to fill the other half. I guess, at least being unsatisfied will force me to fight harder for you now. Tooth and nail. For whatever there is left for me to claim. This isn't making much sense. I don't know how to put into words how I've been feeling. Besides the little sticker on my computer that says bummed.

I should be focusing on what I have, rather than what I lost. Cause it's not really lost. Not actually.

I just want the summer to be over so I can be in Paris, already.