one more time with feeling

i feel like having to say so many goodbyes and so often is slowly making little tiny holes in my heart each time and they are gradually accumulating. i'm still not used to it. it's like tearing a piece out of my chest and giving it to someone, and then holding onto the string, the thread connecting across the miles distance, with all my might. i hope i don't end up with an empty ribcage eventually. with nothing left for myself and fingers grasping at thin air.