The less I give, the more I get back.

So I pretty much listened to this song on repeat nonstop yesterday. I woke up yesterday morning and opened my computer (my first mistake) and then saw something that ripped my heart right out of my chest. Then I had to lie in bed and listen to this song and cry. I know I don't have any rights to him, and that I dug this grave myself, that it's my fault for getting attached, but it still hurt. I am the girl who waits. I am the girl who has never had a boyfriend, so I emotionally attach myself to people I can't have or sometimes don't even know. I am the girl staring into your bright blue eyes and wordlessly begging you to break down the walls I've put up. I am willing you to see how much I want you to come over and say hello to me.

I am a coward. I am alone. I spent all day upset but not telling anyone, and then last night, I got a text, "are you okay?" I didn't even have to tell her. My twin is a mindreader and she just knew it would affect me and I would be upset. I'm not used to having someone implicitly know what is going to hurt me and actually reaching out without having to be told. And that is why she is my twin.